This post came pretty close to not being written tonight. Because I had a case of the blues. And the grumpies. Aka the pissed off madder’n hell depressies.
Have you ever seen Key & Peele and that one scene with Meegan and Andre outside the club. Anyway, she doesn’t get her way and storms off saying,
“I’m so over everything right now. I’m over the floor. I’m over the sky. I’m over you.” – Meegan (Key & Peele)
That came to mind when I was lying in bed because that was my official stance: I’m so over everything right now! I’m over life. Over responsibilities. Over disappointments.
I was in such a bad mood that all I wanted to do was curse my heart for still beating and my lungs for still breathing because they kept on working while my mind was screaming: Enough already! I’m done with this. I’m over everything.
There’s a reason God made so much of what keeps us alive working involuntarily. Because if our circulatory and respiratory systems were controlled by personal will alone… well then the devil would have no one to pick on because we’d all be dead the moment we experienced pain. Humans are weak like that.
If you don’t believe me, think about your first heartbreak. Tell me you didn’t want to just curl up somewhere and die.
But life goes on.
I eventually got around to my Bible study. The topic was depression. Some of God’s most notable servants suffered from it, too, which cheered me up. Wow, how sadistic does that sound? “Knowing other people suffered made me feel better.”
But you know what I mean lol. Having people to relate to. People who God loved dearly, who served God loyally, were not immune to life’s downs, either. And that didn’t matter to Him. And that’s what made me feel better.
There were some pretty good verses that fit my mood like a well-tailored suit.
- Anyone who is among the living has hope. (Ecclesiastes 9:4)
- The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)
- Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:11)
And in the words of Teresa of Avila, “All things pass, God never changes.”