You Can Suck My Faith, Depression.

I was reflecting on my past today and I remember being so envious of people from privileged Christian homes who would just go nuts for Jesus. And I used to think, “Duh! Of course you love Jesus. You’re not struggling!”

Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. (Luke 6:21)

It’s no secret that Jesus loves Him some impoverished people. He likes to get down with the downtrodden. But it’s not fun for the rest of us. No offense to Jesus, but suffering sucks.

As someone who came to God through the hell that is life, I realized something: No one can take my faith away from me. It’s ingrained in the very core of my being.

When you’ve been in a position where you literally have nothing except faith, you cling to it. Even if it sickens you to be brought so low to begin with. After all, faith is better than nothing.

little girl standing against a wall with the words life sucks

photo credit: garzon

Depression is the cruelest tool in Satan’s arsenal. Since everything that does not come from faith is sin, what makes depression especially crappy is this:

Sinners enjoy the sin until there are repercussions. Pride, wrath, lust, sloth, gluttony, greed. Yay! I’d add envy but no one enjoys envy.

With depression, it drove a spiritual wedge between me and God. I could feel myself growing less sparkly for Christ. I didn’t enjoy the process but I felt truly helpless to do anything about it. Like being drug down or watching myself sink.

I got over the worst of it a few weeks ago and my faith is even stronger because of it. Yesterday day I got some troubling news and I shrugged it off completely.

God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
(1 Peter 5:10)

The way I saw it was God has gotten me through worse. He set a precedent that I don’t expect to be topped anytime soon.

So take that depression! 😛


42 thoughts on “You Can Suck My Faith, Depression.

  1. I love your honesty Rae. Thanks for sharing about your struggles, I’m glad you’re moving through them with faith in Jesus intact. Keep writing, you encourage those of us who feel discouraged and down sometimes. The life of faith isn’t always “happy clappy” but it is real and true.

    God bless. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rae,
    I’d be highly suspect of the authenticity of anyone happy clappy and shiny for Jesus all the gosh darn time. Certainly, the One that died a death meant for the punishment of slaves knew suffering well. If God Himself suffered as a human, you better believe that we will experience it too.
    Having myself traveled a rather bumpy road in life, I can tell you, the fellowship of suffering is very real. And it can and should be healing as it is also a fellowship with the suffering Christ–part of the Christian tradition that has been swept under the rug in efforts to sell church to bored, post-modern people looking only for emotional highs.
    Well before the industrial revolution, and before the Protestant reformation, Christianity was obsessed with suffering. It was seen as the hallmark of an authentic faith in Christ. While I think that a better perspective to have is one where we all experience ups and downs, religion tends to find itself teaching from only one of those two extremes. In any event, depression is a rather normal response to viewing the plight of the world with unblinded eyes. Life is freaking hard. So, if we believe “all things work together for the good of those that love God, and are called according to His purpose”, instead of loathing our suffering, perhaps, there is a truth held within we need to realize. One that cannot be known apart from suffering.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love your response. Well thought out, you’re clearly very educated in this area. And you’re absolutely right! Christ suffered something that makes my “suffering” look like a cake walk. Thank you for sharing, you’ve certainly given me more to think on.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve encountered depression numerous times in my life. I used to fear it and dread it. Prayed it would be taken away… Then I finally faced it. Even embraced it. And slowly but surely, I started to find I could harness its depths. I’m not the first person to view life’s lows this way, and I learned a lot from those that went before me and set out to reconcile their personal suffering with their faith in an ultimately good God. It’s not easy, and not every depression can be mined for existential value, but, it’s better than focusing on how much you wish depression would take a permanent vacation to Siberia;)

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Right on all points! I did the same, prayed for it to be gone. Then I tried to find some reason for my depression. Like diet, lack of social activity, etc. Ultimately, I just accepted bad things happen. The Bible tells us that much but there’s a bigger picture. So we gotta pray through the bad and have faith in the blessing that is to come.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pride is the root of depression. You center o yourself and your problems instead of the one who made you and can fix you. It happens to all of us at times. That is a way to show us our weakness, and His strength. Once we get our ayes off our problems, and onto the one who can fix them, depression must go. See only God in the midst of your troubles, and you will come out good.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. It’s so easy to get caught up with our problems, and miss out on all of the beautiful things God does for us. I’ve dealt with struggles in my life, and I know that I miss out on so much when my head and heart is away from God.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. It is easy! You’re so right. God does more for us than I think we even can begin to know. Thank you for sharing and may God guide your heart and head (:

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you for this, Rae! Love your honesty. Just thought I would share with you the awesome verse I saw this morning – “But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.” (Psalm 9:18) Be blessed, sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. No offense Pete, but your statement here that “pride is the root of depression” is wrong. It’s simplistic and casts the responsibility for one’s plight upon the individual. That’s oppressive! Maybe pride is the root of your depression…. But it’s egocentric to make your experience into a universal truth.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. A more helpful comment for someone that is struggling with depression is that we ALL deal with it at some point in our lives. The diversity of the human of experience points to the fact that only our personal relationship with God can shed light upon the root of our own experience with it.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. O My Soul says:

    Also, no offense, but faithful people can suffer depression. The ancient church quoted Psalm 90:6 regarding what we call depression. They called it the Noonday Demon because it was the only demon to attack during daylight. Faithful Christians are certainly be attacked. Faithful Christians can certainly be depressed whether that fail is strong or weak.

    Liked by 5 people

  13. theancients says:

    There are certain things we tend to take as personal attacks even when it is not so and the farthest from the truth.

    I agree with Pete’s statement: pride is at the root of all our problems.
    Proverbs tells us, the source of all contention is pride.

    Pride is basically thinking we know more than God; pride is exalting our experiences above His word; pride is living a life independent of God – doing things our way, and perhaps only turning to Him when we’ve got no where else to turn.

    These are not statements of condemnation, but the reality of all of our lives.

    Scripture tells us Jesus was meek and humble. That is, He lived a life of total dependence on God, and could/would do nothing except what He saw His Father doing.
    This is true humility, the total opposite of pride. It’s living a life of total dependence on God.

    The commenter totally ignored Pete’s comment that all suffers from depression at some point!

    Saying that pride is the source of depression is nothing to take offense at. Everyone gets depressed at some point! Yes! Christians get depressed too! This acknowledgement does not change the source of depression nor does it change how to fight it.

    The reality is this – at the heart of depression is self.
    This is not condemnation. This is knowledge. It’s only the truth that we know that can set any of us free.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. You know it. Nothing gets Satan’s forked tail all in a bunch like having confidence in God. And forgiving others. I bet that irks him to no end, too lol

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m just reading comments here regarding depression.

    “PRIDE is the root of depression” What kind of depression are we talking about? Mental illness depression or just “depression” of feeling sad because something awful happened?

    I dislike when the Christian community avoids medical help. Yes, praying is fine but have we ever consider that God uses psychology and psychotherapy to help people with depression?

    In my case, I do have depression. But with a prayerful community who understand my situation, and a Christian therapist really alleviate my hellish situation.

    God bless, Rae, Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Wow, so profound and I can relate to all of it. I’m still struggling with my faith. I need to follow your blog, it’s an inspiration and meets me where I am.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Thank you, Hanna! I’m glad I’m not the only one experiencing the up and downs that is the crazy mess called life. Thanks again, and stay strong!


  18. Count it ALL as joy???!!! Yeah right.

    Life is mad, and crazy. God seems to call messed up people. I know, I’m one of them. I used to hate privileged people, whether Christians or not. Their confidence, security, mapped out affluent futures …. etc. I didn’t grow up in abject poverty, but in a poor working class family living down the back ‘jiggers’ (alleys) of a big north west English city.

    I resented people who seemed to know where they were going, who could talk about foreign holidays, and who always seemed to have family somewhere who owned restaurants or businesses or some such thing. Those things are fading away now. Now I just struggle with chronic fatigue, unemployment and occasional depression. But I have His assurance that all will turn out well, if I am obedient and have faith.

    Really like your blog. Come over and check mine out sometime. I’ll put the kettle on….

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I will check out your blog, and you sound just like me. We could be twins. Except instead of down the back alleys, i grew up in a luxurious five star private trailer park 10 minutes outside of a nothing town. Lol and i understand your sentiments all too well.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Wow you really touched my heart with this post! Thanks for sharing your story about depression. I too, have struggled with it a lot, so I know how you feel! I like how you have faith in God and don’t let depression overtake you. It gives me faith to keep going, too! Thanks for stopping by to read my blog, as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Thank you Rae. The voices of people such as ourselves are not heard too much these days. I’m going to put your blog on my blogroll when I have a moment. I am always drawn to honest opinion and people who don’t sugar coat reality. In spite of all my suffering, God is good all the time. I also learned to count my blessings. Compared to most of the poor in the rest of the world, I’m doing ok, thank God.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Thank you for your words and the offer, I appreciate that (: and yes, God is good! Sometimes it takes awhile for us difficult humans to see that lol Bless you and thanks again!


  23. He is good, ain’t He? Chronic illness is rough, especially when it is one of those that get handed down from generation to generation. You hang in there, though!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I do believe there are different causes of depression.We can never be the judge of why somebody suffers from depression.Remember John 9:2-3,when Jesus healed the blind man and his disciples asked who sinned.Was it him or his parents,and Jesus said neither BUT “this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him”

    We ought to be empathetic towards others because ourselves we got issues in different areas.

    Just thought I would make some contribution

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Hi Rae,
    Thanks for visiting my new blog. 🙂 I really like what you’ve done here. It’s great that you’re willing to share what you’re going through with depression, as it can help other people. Even if it’s just to know that they’re not alone. I know it helps me!
    Thanks again, and God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. I’ve noticed that God never does anything regrettable. All His works in us are praiseworthy.

    Please try reliving your bad times to understand the wisdom of God and Jesus will think with you and shed some light every time you re-live bad moments.

    It is also healing to relive your life, especially the tragic moments. I personally find it helpful to also write about my most tragic moments that used to hurt the most.

    I’ve learned great things through mining my life’s past. It hurts at first but then it slowly hurts less and finally it becomes enjoyable and even blissful.


  27. Thank you for keeping it real…. been reading a lot today and everyone sounded so religious. Love the comment:
    “As someone who came to God through the hell that is life, I realized something: No one can take my faith away from me. It’s ingrained in the very core of my being.”
    I went to church on and off when I was young, but it was not with my family. My faith is something that I have had to work out on my own with Jesus. And for that I am truly grateful. It is my faith, it was never a faith that was dependent on anyone else’s….. that kind of faith tends to disappear as we grow older.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Great post Rae. I have battled it as well and wrote about it last year. Depression sucks, but there is someone greater and I know I wouldn’t be here right now if it weren’t for His love, that is so strong depression had to flee. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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