I was reflecting on my past today and I remember being so envious of people from privileged Christian homes who would just go nuts for Jesus. And I used to think, “Duh! Of course you love Jesus. You’re not struggling!”
Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh. (Luke 6:21)
It’s no secret that Jesus loves Him some impoverished people. He likes to get down with the downtrodden. But it’s not fun for the rest of us. No offense to Jesus, but suffering sucks.
As someone who came to God through the hell that is life, I realized something: No one can take my faith away from me. It’s ingrained in the very core of my being.
When you’ve been in a position where you literally have nothing except faith, you cling to it. Even if it sickens you to be brought so low to begin with. After all, faith is better than nothing.
Depression is the cruelest tool in Satan’s arsenal. Since everything that does not come from faith is sin, what makes depression especially crappy is this:
Sinners enjoy the sin until there are repercussions. Pride, wrath, lust, sloth, gluttony, greed. Yay! I’d add envy but no one enjoys envy.
With depression, it drove a spiritual wedge between me and God. I could feel myself growing less sparkly for Christ. I didn’t enjoy the process but I felt truly helpless to do anything about it. Like being drug down or watching myself sink.
I got over the worst of it a few weeks ago and my faith is even stronger because of it. Yesterday day I got some troubling news and I shrugged it off completely.
God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
(1 Peter 5:10)
The way I saw it was God has gotten me through worse. He set a precedent that I don’t expect to be topped anytime soon.
So take that depression! 😛