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I used to spend summers at my grandmother’s. She would let me work at her company. We’d get up early, grab a Chik-fil-a chicken biscuit, and head into the office.

I worked in the IT department. Alongside an industrious stoic man named Lu Kim. He did much but said little. I was the opposite. We brought out the best in each other, though. Despite our drastically different demeanors, at our core we were very much the same.

Lovers of tradition. With deeply rooted appreciation of simple elegant rituals. Like courtship and tea. Foreign concepts in a society characterized by instant gratification.

One afternoon he took me to a quaint little Victorian-themed tea room for lunch.

Lu Kim was a rare gem of sincerity, selflessness, and sophistication. The Eastern equivalent of a Southern Gentleman.

It seemed so right that I never considered for a moment any alternative to Lu Kim. Riding off into the sunset with him was a realistic tangible goal. #fairytale #delusion

Just another thing to check of my “To Do” list.

  1. Finish College
  2. Marry Mr. Right
  3. Create an Economic Empire
  4. Live Happily Ever After on a Yacht
  5. Go to Heaven

My heart breaks when I dwell on it too long. Because Lu Kim is a beautiful distant memory and Jim is my grotesque reality. Jim, who eats pizza straight out of the box. Jim, who has taught our child how to lay on a couch. Like a bum-in-training.

Where Lu Kim was patient and gentle, Jim is self-serving and coarse.

It’s an agonizing truth the world we live in has no partiality to happy endings. There’s no accepting it, not really. Relief is finding distraction from such realities. One of my distractions is homemaking. I love interior design and shopping for pieces to add to enhance my home.

So I was looking around for a Turkish Tea Set to match my Moroccan-themed livingroom. Contentment. Turkish Tea Set. Victorian Tea. Lu Kim. Jim. Broken heart. Crushed dreams. Depression.

Even when submerging myself with things I enjoy, depression still finds a way in. But that’s how it goes, isn’t it?

*Rae

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