I ran out of antidepressants a week or so ago. I wasn’t too worried. At least not at first.
Then the bad thoughts started back.
The sad thoughts.
“Where is God and why does He let me feel like this?” thoughts.
And to the pharmacy I went for my meds. They didn’t have my script, but the pharmacist said he had something I could use until the shipment came in.
It was agony watching him pick up the little medicine paper bag and bring it to the cash register. Click the screen then tell me, “You will have to speak with your psychiatrist before we refill.”
So I scheduled an appointment for next Tuesday which was Dr. Kumar’s earliest available time.
But I needed my antidepressants. With the depression I feel, it isn’t a dramatization when I say my health is in danger when I hit the lowest lows.
Which is why I called to see if Dr. Kumar could at least approve a refill. Fortunately, he was able to make a quick appointment with me today after all.
After my appointment with Dr. Kumar I went back to the pharmacy. They said my medicine would be ready in 10 minutes.
I looked over the magazine rack while I waited. There was an interesting article about Jesus. I passed the time reading about just how humble His beginnings were. How the cutesy nativity scene was unlikely how it was for Baby Jesus.
A dirty animal pen would be have been a more historically accurate. Then it was time to pay for the antidepressants.
As I’m about to pay for my meds, who shows up?
No, not Jesus (lol).
My Bible study teacher.
Confession time… I haven’t been to church in about two weeks. I have excuses, but no good ones.
She hugs me and tells me about a Christmas gathering they are having tomorrow. I agreed to go and participate.
Originally I had no intention of going. I would have pulled out another excuse. A reason why I couldn’t fellowship. It might have even sounded good. It definitely would have been steeped in honesty. But it would still have been just an excuse to avoid a social gathering. #introvert
If I hadn’t crossed paths with my Bible study techer in-person, I wouldn’t be going. But I did and I am.
I got my medicine. And I learned a little more about my Lord and Savior.