God in Action

I ran out of antidepressants a week or so ago. I wasn’t too worried. At least not at first.

Then the bad thoughts started back.

The sad thoughts.

“Where is God and why does He let me feel like this?” thoughts.

And to the pharmacy I went for my meds. They didn’t have my script, but the pharmacist said he had something I could use until the shipment came in.

It was agony watching him pick up the little medicine paper bag and bring it to the cash register. Click the screen then tell me, “You will have to speak with your psychiatrist before we refill.”

Ugh.

So I scheduled an appointment for next Tuesday which was Dr. Kumar’s earliest available time.

But I needed my antidepressants. With the depression I feel, it isn’t a dramatization when I say my health is in danger when I hit the lowest lows.

Which is why I called to see if Dr. Kumar could at least approve a refill. Fortunately, he was able to make a quick appointment with me today after all.

After my appointment with Dr. Kumar I went back to the pharmacy. They said my medicine would be ready in 10 minutes.

I looked over the magazine rack while I waited. There was an interesting article about Jesus. I passed the time reading about just how humble His beginnings were. How the cutesy nativity scene was unlikely how it was for Baby Jesus.

A dirty animal pen would be have been a more historically accurate. Then it was time to pay for the antidepressants.

As I’m about to pay for my meds, who shows up?

No, not Jesus (lol).

My Bible study teacher.

Confession time… I haven’t been to church in about two weeks. I have excuses, but no good ones.

Anyway.

She hugs me and tells me about a Christmas gathering they are having tomorrow. I agreed to go and participate.

Originally I had no intention of going. I would have pulled out another excuse. A reason why I couldn’t fellowship. It might have even sounded good. It definitely would have been steeped in honesty. But it would still have been just an excuse to avoid a social gathering. #introvert

If I hadn’t crossed paths with my Bible study techer in-person, I wouldn’t be going. But I did and I am.

I got my medicine. And I learned a little more about my Lord and Savior.

*Rae

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “God in Action

  1. And He’ll set up meetings, divine appointments, to help stir you back on the right path. Good for you Rae! Take care of yourself! Jesus wants to use you even more, and is using you, through this blog. Don’t ever forget that! Be Blessed, and enjoy the Christmas program. I look forward to hearing about it

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I enjoyed reading this. I think that He persued you. You found the article and your teacher in a place you were persuing something else. He’s so amazing that way. I also appreciated your thoughts on the nativity scene. I think we tend to forget.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awesome testimony! I am on medication as well and am so glad you are aware of the Importance of them. The meeting was no coincidence….as my care pastor would say, that was a God event! Thank you for sharing your walk of faith! Proud of you!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Any time we are down. If we look within at such time, we are down and still looking down. The best place to look at is up, looking up to God, and He will pick us up. In the stormy wind, the disciples can’t do without Jesus. In every storming situation, the only thing we need is the presence of God!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The more important lesson is how not to run out of medication, not the idea that everything that happens is a grand plan by Jesus who could just as easily cure your depression and skip all the turmoil. Convoluted explanations are unnecessary.

    Take some responsibility for keeping track of your medications. Not every little memory lapse is an ecclesiastical event. It may just be a reminder to think ahead or devise a reminder system.

    Social interaction is definitely helpful for reducing depression. If going to meetings is good for you, then go. You can learn what is good for you and what is not. It doesn’t require divine intervention.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Good point. The thing about life is the ability to live and learn. I have learned through trial and error what works for me and what doesn’t. I have found between rape, depression, drug addiction, and feelings of hopelessness that believing in Jesus Christ as the Son of God and my Lord and Savior gives me a sense of purpose. Whenever I forget things or behave irresponsibly or procrastinate, I remember I’m human. Humans make mistakes. That’s not a religious concept, that’s a life concept. The most important lesson is that no human has all the answers.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Interesting how your “friends” become Job’s counselors. I’ve been on meds for around 3o years and I still rely on them every day. Would you counsel a Heart Patient to “cheer up” or similar remarks? No. You wouldn’t. Mental Illness is real and requires more than just “prayer” and an attitude adjustment. Paul had a thorn in the flesh. So do we. Yet we can live in the confidence that Jesus will make everything right in the end.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Rae, are you able to give yourself credit for the things you’ve learned and the changes you’ve made as you’ve overcome the traumas, obstacles, and challenges in your life? Are you able to give credit to the resources you’ve chosen to use — professional and non-professional people, medications, etc.? The learning you’ve accomplished wasn’t “given” to you. It required choices and effort on your part. The resources you’ve found helpful were created by humans based on long accumulation of knowledge and effort. If you lived even as few as a hundred years ago, you would not have had the medication and therapeutic methods you have had. People have believed in Jesus Christ for centuries. Only now do we have better therapeutic methods for healing from the tragedies of life, and those methods will continue to improve.

    Like

  9. “Are you able to give credit to the resources you’ve chosen to use — professional and non-professional people, medications, etc.”
    Do you want me to cite my life in MLA or APA format? Lol! But seriously, that’s interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. G. says:

    Just getting out of the valley here after trying to decrease my anti depressants… So I know what that must have been like! I am glad God found you and that you share your story here… It gives me hope. And i can sure use hope! I hope your medication will soon start to take effect again!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. It’s definitely you there in your shoes, not me. Sorry! I repent! Delete that comment if you will; remove it as far as the east is from the west, and this one along with it.

    Like

  12. Jay says:

    God’s ways are different from ours . He has a plan for you and me which we might not understand as we go through the pains of life . I am sure you will handle this depression and be victorious through Him . St.Paul writes that he asked God thrice to heal him of something which bothered him . But it didn’t happen . Instead , God told him that His grace is sufficient for him . The best thing for us to do is to learn to trust Him amidst our pains .

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Frank, I agree completely! The thing I’ve learned is that there is no way to avoid every negative situation. Sure in hindsight we like to believe if we did this or that, we could avoid trouble. But this isn’t true. Jesus knows that and has our back (:
    Thanks for your insight, brother!
    *Rae

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s