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I type these words with the heaviest of hearts.

My deepest fear realized.

I am at a breaking point in my faith. Of that I am certain.

I don’t know how much longer I can believe in a God who allows such intense misery and unbearable agony befall those whom He loves.

I’ve read the Bible, study it regularly, pray daily, go to Church, and try to live as good as I can.

Yet in this moment, there is no solace.

No peace that transcends all understanding.

Just the utter exhaustion that accompanies a life riddled with despair and disappointment.

The rapes weren’t enough. The severe depression wasn’t enough. Not even an entire year of one misfortune after another was enough.

There seems to be no end to the precedent of desolation on my life.

I’m tired.