Easter Eve Reflections

Usually this time of year, I feel super sad and guilty about Christ’s death. Even the resurrection isn’t enough to round the rough edges of shame.

A little background on yours truly: I always envisioned myself as something of a bad ass. ‘Bout that life.

Real as the Streets, so to speak.

Being a stone cold bitch with deep pockets and shallow emotions was the route I was tryna go. But that wasn’t bad assery, that was cowardice.

Too scared to get close to anyone, because I might get hurt. Too scared to feel my emotions, so I had to numb them. Like a mouse scurrying at the mere thought of unpleasantness.

Now that I’m living a mostly sober life, I am faced with all the things I tried so hard to avoid. Forced to accept there’s no gliding through life without a few tears and scars.

Then there’s Jesus. He knew He would suffer and instead of running from the pain, He ran straight to it. Like David running toward Goliath.

The world shouted discouragement, but listening to the still small voice of God promising victory,  Jesus went to the cross. To suffer. To His death.

And He won.

There is going to be pain. A whole lot of it- but whatevs.

The trick is to be faithful, not fearful.

Cuz the faithful always win. #victory

*Rae

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16 thoughts on “Easter Eve Reflections

  1. At times this has been the reality for me in my walk with Jesus. It is when I focus on him and follow the small voice that I overcome the barriers in my life. When I don’t focus on Jesus my problems seem to get bigger. The reality is we have a gigantic God and tiny problems. Bless You. Richard

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You write true words, Rae. Honest words that resonate with many of us. Thank you for speaking clearly on this.
    How many of us are “BAINO” – Bad-Ass In Name Only. That life flows directly out of our false selves, our ego defenses we hope will manage our fears. Easter is in part about our God finally offering us freedom from our false selves, from being a BAINO. Jesus made that way of freedom possible for us. And He showed us how to walk in it. It is the way of the cross.
    Happy, joyous, set-free Easter to you!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’ll be 70 this year. Can’t remember any time in my life that has seen a more troubled, volatile world system. This holy season has brought for me a realization more profound than ever that we also trudge painfully, and sometimes fearfully, every day with Jesus bearing the cross that will finally and undeniably quench our thirst for justice and unity with God. Bless you, Rae.

    Liked by 1 person

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