Due to the craziness of the start of Fall Semester, I missed my appointment with the psychiatrist.
As a result, I didn’t have a prescription waiting for me after I went through the last battle.
Note: I thought I typed bottle but during the re-read, I see I put battle. That’s even better.
I am going to get that appointment and prescription taken care of this week, though. I know I need to be on medication, because I get to the point where I can’t even stand being around my own emotionally unstable ass. >.<
Feeling like the Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland.
But anyway, despite being off my meds, I’ve found a few spiritual truths. The other day I prayed for the Lord to help me overcome my ego.
He mercifully accepted my request. In a few moments of utter clarity, I realized I was dictating my life with arbitrary constraints:
- Trying to prove my worth to others in order to feel validated (especially in a Church or social setting).
- Letting the insecurities I obtained years ago, cling to my character.
And in those few God-given moments, I felt true freedom.
The freedom to wake up each day and live a life independent of the expectations, judgment, and insecurity I’ve placed upon myself.
The hardest, most rewarding result of that brief experience is being confident of my place in life without having to explain a damn thing.
Be happy for no reason. Be confident for no reason. Because real happiness and confidence are not built on the approval of others.