2 Ps of Parenting

There are two schools of thought when it comes to motherhood. We can choose to either be the b*tch or the best friend. I aim to be an appropriate combination of the two. I want to be firm, but fair- and a little fun. Like Albus Dumbledore. Unfortunately, I’m more McGonagall.

This gets magnified when my baby and I are around her grandparents or great grandparents.

So me and my daughter’s family were all at a restaurant last night.

Me, being firm but fair and a little fun: Here’s the kid’s menu and two crayons. Want to color Mommy a picture? 😀

My Daughter: Yeah! *Colors*

Then she drops one of the two crayons. Me, not wanting to deny my belly fruit the luxury of two crayons, bends over and picks up the crayon and hands it to her.

Me: Here you go, you cute little piece of pie. 🙂

Meanwhile her grandfather is just enjoying her company. It’s a great time.

Then my little Crumbsnatcher drops the crayon again. But it’s a special occasion and maintaining relationships are more important than enforcing arbitrary rules.

So I go for the happy medium.

Me: Uh-oh! I’ll get the crayon for you one more time, but don’t drop it again or else it stays on the floor.

She’s at the age where she’s conscious of things. She has a basic idea of right and wrong. And she knows my voice tones. There are 3 levels based on the severity of my baby’s behavior

  1. Misdemeanor Responses: “Strudelcake, what did Mommy say about that?”
  2. Warning Responses: Do it one more time, little girl. One. More. Time.
  3. Felony Responses: “Oh, hell no!”

In general, the severity of my daughter’s actions are inversely proportional to the number of words used in response.
So.

She deliberately dropped the crayon for a third time.

Me: Well, I guess you just gonna color with one crayon then. Better think of some orange things because green is gone. :/

Then she dramatically reaches towards the floor for the green crayon. Tugging on her grandfather’s heart strings.

Now, my baby is a master manipulator. She’s so cute and she knows how to work it.

Sidenote: Any other mothers think your kid(s) deliberately try you in public just to see how much they can get away with? Sometimes I think my daughter is an evil toddler genuis.

So her grandfather picks up the crayon and she just beams. I feel terrible like, “What kind of mother am I? Punishing this innocent child for making a mistake. I need to lighten up.” 😦

Then she does it a forth time and her dad takes the crayons like, “No more of that.”

He saw it all and intervened. Then I look at my daughter like, “See I knew your sneaky ass was full aware! I *knew* it.”

Little does she know, I’m gonna be sticking to the 2Ps: Prayer and Punishment.

Can’t afford to second-guess myself when I have a daughter that can apparently sense weakness >.<

Kids push you to your limits of faith and sanity. #parenthood

*Rae

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17 thoughts on “2 Ps of Parenting

  1. Great post Rae. I think I learned more from dealing with 3 girls than from anything else in life (except God of course). So many valuable lessons come through our children. Patience and prayers would be at the top.
    Be blessed

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Rae. Didn’t you get a copy of the owners manual when you left the hospital? I hardly watch TV, just enough to know the so called, “Media experts,” are messing up everything. All that, “accept everything, and if you don’t know how to deal with it, it’s your fault,” philosophy spells dome for the generation, and whatever happens to follow. The discipline part is tough, and should keep parents awake at night. But to give in all the time is also wrong. Very wrong.
    On a side note. My 2nd daughter was supposed to be severely autistic. Well, we of course we prayed. A lot. The older sister by 10 years was enjoying listening to Bible Stories, and at times, a chapter out of scripture at bed time. The new born was next to her sister and seems to have never cried of made any fuss during bedtime story time. Little did I know how it would effect her. She did have issues we had to work through. Prayer provided an answer, showing how to reach her autistic brain, which was gauged to numbers. She just graduated top of her class with national honors. Wish I could show that to the doctors who said we’d be better off killing her. Anyway, she surprises me all the time. She knows so many sections of the Bible, and much of the spiritual meaning behind those sections. She remembers stories she heard when only a few days old. The point is, I believe there is a time in every life where Satan is off limits. We have a time to train up a child without outside interference, if we choose. On the other hand, we can ask demons to baby sit and raise our kids. Or a combination of the two. That’s a bit of what I learned from experience.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Being the Father of five, I get it. “Punish” through love without agitation or anger. She’s not testing you per se; perhaps the Lord is helping you reach a required new level of patience and understanding.😃

    I have found, as it seems you’re already aware, that consistency and credibility are key when it comes to establishing standards for little ones. And see how the Lord gave support for the situation by having her Dad step-in, re-emphasizes the lesson you were hoping to drive home?

    Take heart, my friend, and stick to your guns regarding that one scripture you quoted some time ago: “Train up a child in the way…” You know the rest😄 She will project what is poured into her, okay?

    Enjoy your Holyday (not “holiday”).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I feel like I’m constantly on eggshells with my parents. My kids are angels that can do no wrong and how dare I ever punish them for being children! *sigh* being undermined in front of my kids is awful because I can totally see my son’s little tug on his lip when he wins his halmoni over! 😒😒😒

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Having worked in pediatric nursing I have seen all kinds of parents. I also have three children of my own and six grandchildren. Your are on the right path. If it’s one thing I’ve learned indulgence never works. Gentle correction does.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rae-
    From one Mom to another; hang in there and be consistent. You are being a wonderful mom by setting boundaries. Little people little problems, big people big problems. Address now that which could become a lot worse. Have you heard of Dr. Ray Girundi? He is great.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This was a nice entry from you, especially about parenthood lessons for children. I don’t have a child of my own, but I remember the emotions and warning expressions from my mother while raising me. I studied those “mother zones” and so has my relatives. One of my cousins mentioned to his girlfriend about my mother that “… she can be a real sweet person as soon as you meet her, but when you make her upset, just leave her alone.” 🙂

    In your experience and how you handled your child, you’ve done nothing wrong. I, however, have relatives that consider being a ‘friend’ to their children instead of a ‘parent’. They would’ve kept picking up those crayons dropped and not giving them warnings. Just like you, my mother raised me with warnings when I was a kid. I made sure to play, color, and appreciate my crayons.

    The third phase: “Oh, Hell No” is the most dangerous level to hit with her as well. You can try to calm her down in this stage, but it’s too late. The best action is to pray… and give her room and give her alone time in her room.

    Sorry for making this long, but there was nothing that you had done wrong, and you are raising them up right. If it had not been for my mother, we would not be having the close relationship that we have right now because without her… I would not know where I’d be today.

    Stay strong, Sister, Rae! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you so much for those words of support! Since this is my first baby, I’m always second-guessing. But I also believe that intention and faith are the best compasses for childrearing. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Linda says:

    I have 8 kids…they’re all born with a sin nature. But when they decide for themselves to follow Jesus, even though they’re not any more perfect than we are, and they need our instruction to help them mature, you really can SEE how God sweeps in and starts working on their character. Good job, Mom!

    Liked by 1 person

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