The Baby Mama of Noble Character

woman's feet in heels and child's feet in ballet slippers

Christian women love comparing themselves to Proverbs 31. I think I would, too. Except Mrs. Proverbs 31 is a wife and I’m not. I’m a single mother. Some days it hurts knowing that I don’t have the perfect family. After all, no little girl says, “I wanna be a baby mama when I grow up.” But I do try to live a life as close to the Bible as possible.

Not just for me, but for my Nugget. I can’t raise her to love the Word if I’m living like a heathen. So I take the Bible and incorporate it into my life as best I can. Hoping that somewhere along the way my daughter will see the importance of following Christ. If I fail in every other area, at least she’ll have Jesus- which is really all she needs. Until then…

The Baby Mama of Noble Character
Based on Proverbs 31:10-31

10 A [baby mama] of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her [baby daddy] has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, no harm,
    all the [most] days of her life. baby steps, rae, baby steps
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar. keep food on the table
15 She [tries] to get up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants. if i had money for servants…
16 She considers a field and buys it; no impulsive spending
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. invest wisely
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks. work hard; eagerly, consistently
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy. don’t be stingy
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet. keep clothes on that baby’s back
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple. though, dark blue is her color
23 Her [future] husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.*i wish*
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes. business savvy
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; least it comes in my size
    she can laugh at the days to come. lol, take that days!
26 She speaks with wisdom, easier said than done
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household diligent stewardess
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her [baby daddy] also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; focus on He who lasts, not that which flabs
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. fear the Lord above all else
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.


Disclaimer: What I posted here cannot be found verbatim in the Bible. This morning I was doing Bible study in Proverbs and these are my personal notes. Everything in red is what I jotted down for myself. I bolded and underlined portions I found especially significant. So… don’t be mad!

47 thoughts on “The Baby Mama of Noble Character

  1. I like this. I am a wife, learning how to be the God designed me to be lol, but when I was single, I too had my daughter being a single mom… and for 31 days, I read praying over 31 in particular daily, replaced “a virtuous woman” with “I “. The change your have at the end of 31 days is crazy… because you remember the words and it’s like they become embedded
    In ur heart and so you act on it. Maybe that will help. Remember that God didn’t call the perfect, he called on the flawed. You can be that virtuous woman that Shall be praised!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for your encouraging comment. It’s tough, but you’ve been there so you know what it’s like. Being a Momma and having a baby, when surrounded by traditional seemingly pefect families. It’s tough. I know no one has it all together but the mind is too impressionable! I’m going to do what you suggest. Replace “virtuous woman” with “I” (:

    Thanks again! God bless!!!


  3. I have a feeling you won’t wait long for Mr. Right to step onto the scene. 🙂

    I hardly want to go to church because it feels like a family social club.

    I don’t want to be that sad lone woman.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You’ve taken some good notes here, Rae. I am sure others are as well. Personally, I believe YOU will have what you ask of the Lord according to His will. Just remember Luke 6:38 in relation to your note on verse 20 of Proverbs 31. Be Blessed; Remain Spiritually Refreshed!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Personally, I’ve always found Proverbs 31 to be sort of depressing. For the most part I can’t say I’ve aspired to be her. I am devoted to my children, but other than that I cannot relate.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I think Proverbs 31 is like women on TV. Seemingly perfect, but perfection is simply unattainable. I think that’s why Proverbs 31 doesn’t have a woman’s name. Because who could do all that?!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. During my day today, while washing dishes and changing diapers and teaching inverse operations (the daily grind of a homeschool momma)– your post kept coming back to me.
    Being a ‘baby mama’ is one of the bravest things a Christian woman can hope to do. In the typically traditional church climate, you may find yourself to be an outlier, but when surveying women that have had abortions, over 60% self-identified as Evangelical Christians. That means, there should be a whole lot more baby’s mamas in church. But the fear of judgment has forced far too many Christian women to do the unthinkable instead of take responsibility for the life they brought into being.
    God chose an unmarried teen girl to bring Christ into the world. Think about that for a second– Jesus’ mother Mary was an unwed mother! If that isn’t a message for women today, on how much God values single-moms, lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Technically, I have roughly 20 years of homeschooling experience, lol! I was homeschooled myself, so that made the choice much easier for me when my eldest was ready for school.
    Homeschooling is an excellent way to ensure each child is afforded the privilege of working at their own pace. I tend towards un-schooling with my kiddos. Reading and writing and arithmetic is much easier to teach if you can wait until a child is ready to master it themselves. They practically teach themselves when they are ready, lol! I think a lot of children enrolled in traditional classroom settings get burned out with constant repetition and test preparation. The shadow side of homeschooling is the burden it puts on parents… It can be exhausting. Self-care strategies are essential when you pretty much never get a break from your offspring. And I mean, never…

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hi Rae! 🙂

    If I can play the “advocatus diaboli” here for a minute (and, yes, I do have a T-shirt with that slogan on it, which always raises an eyebrow or two whenever I attend church meetings! 😉 ), I think trying to compare yourself to the idealised perfection in this Proverb can be problematic, even destructive. Remember, “Proverbs” as a text represents the received wisdom of folkloric tradition from ancient Hebrew society; and that received wisdom was both often idealistic in its articulation and reflective of a society whose gender roles we would not necessarily today consider to be always appropriate to full human flourishing.

    In particular, there is no such thing as the “perfect” family. All families have their quiet tragedies and silent sufferings and points of tension and dislocation – it’s just that much of it goes on behind closed doors or in the privacy of our hearts. In particular, just because you’re a single mother doesn’t mean you are falling short of some ideal which, if achieved, would make you a “real” or “proper” Christian. The Church is not a society or club of the perfect and the pious (though it often portrays itself that way); it is a community of the broken and the struggling. And God’s grace comes to us, not because we are saints and angels, but because we are wounded souls called into redemption and healing. And it is precisely because we are wounded and require healing that God loves us so passionately.

    So, yes, ideals are nice and are ever to be striven for – but don’t beat yourself up because you fall short sometimes (or lots of times). That’s one thing unfortunately Christians are very good at: blaming and shaming ourselves for our human nature, instead of seeing and loving ourselves as God sees and loves us. What TheUngodlyWoman said about Mary the unmarried mother is spot on. And what I found really moving about your post were your notes, which often expressed, simply but powerfully, your honest and innermost human yearnings. It seems to me that it is this honesty with ourselves that God desires most of all, because it is into relationship – tricky, messy, and difficult – that God calls us, and not some pristine but inhuman perfection. God loves us as we are, not as we would wish ourselves to be.

    Many thanks for your post and your blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My 3 daughters were all single mom’s at one time or another. It molded their lives and made them strong. My mom was a single mom as well, and she dd an amazing job raising us in the 50’s and 60’s. Proverbs 31 is just as much about single mom’s as it is married. Live it with all your hear, Rae. God has a mighty plan for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’ve been sitting here for awhile now just thinking about you, Rae… your honesty, your humor, your hope… your heart… and maybe all I need to say is Wow, Rae, you are the ‘other’ Proverbs 31 woman! You know, the one the Church Universal still doesn’t quite know what to do with because she’s not whole, you know… she’s half, but maybe not even half if there’s no man in sight to make her whole, at least in some churchified minds.

    You really are the ‘other’ Proverbs woman, Rae. I know, because it takes one to know one, and I’ve been one for 34 years. (Our story is also there in Proverbs 31… yours and mine and all the other moms who are doing motherhood alone, but not really alone, as you know. You just have to read between the lines.)

    The ‘other’ Proverbs woman is the one who knows who she is in Christ Jesus instead of who she is the eyes of the ‘spiritually correct’ (who are every bit as misguided as the politically correct). She knows that she knows that she knows that she is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, that she is accepted in the Beloved, and that she really can do all things through Christ who strengthens her minute by minute.

    The ‘other’ Proverbs woman is the mom who isn’t just a mom but is, of necessity, both mom and dad to her children. She is the Child of God who is doing motherhood, aka child-rearing, the ‘right way’ in God’s sight by choosing to raise her child in the reverential awe and admonition of the Lord for all the right reasons. And she has the best Husband a woman could ever hope for–Jesus… who, by the way, Rae, is absolutely crazy about you!

    I applaud you, my sister in Christ, as I lift you to the One who loves you like no other.


    Liked by 2 people

  12. You’re right on all points, Brendan! I always try to keep that in mind but it’s so easy to fall in the “i should be better” trap. I used to be something of a perfectionist until I finally accepted in my ego that i simply wasn’t capable of perfection- that’s God’s job. But old habits don’t disappear overnight. You made a very excellent point on not beating ourselves up when we fall short of something that isn’t attainable. Great comment! Super insightful


  13. Thank you, Pete! Wow! Your mom must have been a very courageous woman. I know women today, myself included at times, get to complaining about our roles as women. But we’re standing on the shoulders of giants. Thank you for your comment. Blessings to you and your family!


  14. Thank you so much for your comment, Sara! I agree! Being the ‘other’ Proverbs woman has it’s disadvantages at times, but one thing that is wonderful beyond compare is the recognition of Christ and His Sovereignty. Starting out, I used to pout that things weren’t going my way. But I saw that maybe there was a lesson to be learned. Maybe it was the Lord calling me to let go of my selfish ways and focus on Him. Thank you Sara, you’re are very wise. And 34 years, you’re warrior! God bless you! (:

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Thanks so much for opening your heart and sharing your love for God and for the Word of God. Indeed, you applied the wisdom of the Word in Proverbs 31 to your life in an especially engaging, personal way. Thanks for keeping it real, Rae. I know that as you continue to delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.

    Thanks again for sharing, and thanks also for the likes on Dr. J’s Apothecary Shoppe.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You say “Some days it hurts knowing that I don’t have the perfect family”, but there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ family. Yours is no more and no less perfect than any other.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. This I can honestly say (and I only read due to the title this particular post) is the first time in my adult life I actually want to go read The Bible! I read biz and entrepreneurial books and it keeps coming up, ‘study the book’ but goodness me I laughed in a truly intriguing and open sense that I get this, this being your perspective, you reeled it in to someone that is VERY defensive surrounding religion! Your realness and humour really stand out, authenticity I would call it! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I’m so glad! And I’m right with you. I read the Bible from beginning to end then I was like, “not bad I give it a 7/10.” Then i began personslizing to myself and my circumstance. And that made a huge difference. Good luck!!


  19. leswartz says:

    Love it! Before I married my husband I made Proverbs 31 personal. Personalizing the Bible I believe is the best way to receive from it.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Rae, you have a golden heart of true gold…the Lord God continue to give you what your heart desire, and blessing little nugget too! Praise the Lord for truly being a blessing in sharing your stories…being real! Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  21. What a wonderful adaption! I love the way you incorporate your thoughts into this powerful portion of scripture. You are so right! My girls were all single parents at one time, then two got married, now they are separated and are single parents again. I applaud them for staying with the Lord through all that and keeping their kids grounded. And you, young lady, just keep growing in the Lord with that nugget of yours. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Keep in mind, Rae, that this description of a “Perfect Woman” was written by a real Man’s Man, who according to Bible writers, held the title of “The Wisest Man Who Ever Lived.” I believe it was the woman that he was looking for and never found for he had over a thousand wives and many more concubines (house harlots).
    So in my humble opinion, she didn’t exist then nor now. Also, he wasn’t as smart as he thought he was or he would have stuck with ONE wife and helped nurture HER into perfection.
    So, stop beating yourself up for not reaching Solomon’s ideal womanhood. Our God is one who delights in turning our mistakes and blunders into mysterious perfection in His sight…provided we give those to Him.
    Turn around and see how FAR you’ve already come.

    As for your little Nugget, no matter how old she is, she will delight in this FREE Bible App for kids with animated stories from the Bible at a kids level.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Personally, I do not see Proverbs 31 as the virtuous woman, even if she is referenced for a moment in that manner. If read more carefully, it is about Lemuel’s mom (who is the queen) giving her son advice on a godly woman. I also was a single mom (and still am by choice) raising a little boy who is now a grown man. This is how the Lord convicted me on that chapter. It is a mom giving her son advice on a godly woman because she is trying to protect him from ungodly women. To me the chapter is about being a godly mom by being there for your children… for advice or in many of the different ways mentioned in the godly woman. I don’t think it was ever meant to be a “Follow this plan to be a perfect godly woman, check the list off as you grow, and if you miss one then you’re a heathen.”
    Just my view. You are doing Proverbs 31 just by being there for your children! ❤ God loves you! And your children!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. PTL! When the Lord first gave this to me, I was actually surprised that the queen was giving godly advice instead of being the typical snob or jealous about power as in many of the bible characters. I was so delighted to read of a godly queen! Teaching her son godly principles were more important than anything.. I thought… even more than power? Awesome queen!


  25. That was so great lady! You are an admirable woman. You’re single, setting aside your wants, and you are taking the time to teach your child about GOD. JESUS is ALL that we need!! You’re doing a fine job too! That little baby knows how to pray to GOD. That says a lot about you as a parent!!

    Liked by 1 person

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