Being a single mother and co-parenting with your child’s father presents its own unique set of challenges. Single parents have to consider things coupled parents do not. Like, “Which parent will my child spend Christmas with?” Or, “Can I increase child support due to inflation?” But nothing prepared me for what happened the other day…
So my daughter’s father lives a few hours away. When he wants to spend time with her, he drives to my house to pick her up. My daughter is a clever piece of pie. She knows that when the doorbell rings, it’s time to visit Daddy.
Baby Daddy had just dropped my daughter off with me and would be picking her up the next week. She and I were watching TV together that evening. It was getting close to dinner time, so I went into the kitchen to get my baby and I something to eat.
After I placed the order for pizza (#noshamesaturday), I returned to my little Fudgemaker- who by this time, was playing on my phone. A big no-no. Her little ass already managed to order a $1.99 My Little Pony book on my tablet. So I took the phone from her and said, “No. This Momma phone.” She slit her eyes, went for the phone and said, “No! Nugget phone!” Nugget being her nickname. We had a little come to Jesus regarding the phone. She hasn’t touched Momma phone since.
I’m real quick to lay down the law with this one. She may be two years old, but how long can she keep using that excuse? One problem with setting high expectations for your children is that sometimes they do the same for you.
My daughter enjoys her chores a little too much. In fact, Nugget has a toy vacuum about the same size as her. She picked it out herself. Almost carried the thing right out of Walmart. She was struggling with it in the aisles, determined to keep it. So I bought the damned thing.
Cuz why not?
Now she’ll dramatically drag this vacuum into my bedroom and start it up. It makes loud vacuuming noises and everything. Then she’ll look at me with a serious expression like, “Bitch, get your ass up and help me clean! I’m not the only one who lives in this house!”
Little girls can be such cruel tyrants. 😦
The doorbell rings, my daughter races to the front of the house yelling, “Daddy! Daddy!” at the top of her lungs. Then she does this odd dance where she jumps without lifting her feet off the floor chanting, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.”
I open the door, pay for the pizza, and apologize to the delivery man for my daughter’s confused outburst. #singleparentlife