Date with Destiny

I had a date with destiny and loved the way he looked at me.

Reflecting doe-eyed devotee, our fairy tale future, guaranteed.

That’s how it was supposed to be. But life’s a bitch, unfortunately,

There are no second dates with destiny. Just fragments of fate and lines of poetry.

*Rae

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MEpiphany

Due to the craziness of the start of Fall Semester, I missed my appointment with the psychiatrist.

As a result, I didn’t have a prescription waiting for me after I went through the last battle.

Note: I thought I typed bottle but during the re-read, I see I put battle. That’s even better.

I am going to get that appointment and prescription taken care of this week, though. I know I need to be on medication, because I get to the point where I can’t even stand being around my own emotionally unstable ass. >.<

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Undeserving, but Oh So Grateful

I am humbled by all of you who follow realasthestreets.org because I’m shamefully mediocre. Just a human whose ambition far exceed her talent. A sinner Christian with more vice than virtue. I know my About Page says I enjoy encouraging others- which is true.

But I’ve found so much encouragement from you who leave me heartfelt words of support. My post, “More than I Can Bear,” was an excerpt of some of the difficulties we experience as Christians. Those moments where the enemy gets a foothold.

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One of Those Nights

I’m drinking an Amaretto Sour (heavy on Ameretto, light on sour) and watching For Colored Girls.

Tonight is going to be one of those nights.

When my old foe, Depression, attempts to pull me into the dark abyss of self-pity and hopelessness this is the Bible verse I cling to:

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

I’m sharing this for all those with tears, pain, and heartache.

Pray, persist, and prepare for a time when all this will be a forgotten memory.

*Rae

More Than I Can Bear

I type these words with the heaviest of hearts.

My deepest fear realized.

I am at a breaking point in my faith. Of that I am certain.

I don’t know how much longer I can believe in a God who allows such intense misery and unbearable agony befall those whom He loves.

I’ve read the Bible, study it regularly, pray daily, go to Church, and try to live as good as I can.

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So This is Normal?

I have prayed on more than one occasion for God to fix me and take away all the turmoil I felt within. Between pain of the past and anxiety of the future, I was a wreck.

With a combination of faith, counseling, and antidepressants I think I’ve achieved a nice mental and emotional balance. At first I thought the antidepressants would make all the negative feelings disappear. Like street drugs. Turn the bad feelings into good feelings.

That’s not the case.

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