I never thought I’d be the type of Christian to download and install my inspiration from the Internet. Yet, here I am- absolutely loving the Bible App by YouVersion!
The app is completely free and has the best Bible study reading plans. Plans that can be browsed by topic. If you have the Bible App installed, feel free to add me!
Select Connect with Friends, click the little magnifying glass next to Add Friends, and search for me with the following information:
I’ve been going back and forth in my mind. Wondering whether or not to share this post.
The reason is today I experienced something so raw that to share would be to cheapen the event. However, I truly believe vulnerable moments are the most powerful.
So I’ll share with the purest of intents.
I went to Bible Study today and heard someone in our Church had died. I didn’t know the person. Though the event was tragic, it didn’t affect me as deeply as it would if I could put a face to the name.
What broke my heart. What still sends pangs of pain in my soul was the way it affected my Bible Study teacher. She is a devout and faithful woman of God. A sincere soul who I admire with every part of my being.
There she was. The sweet matriarch of our Church and our Bible Study. Always there with a kind word, helpful hand, and open heart to anyone in need.
I type these words with the heaviest of hearts.
My deepest fear realized.
I am at a breaking point in my faith. Of that I am certain.
I don’t know how much longer I can believe in a God who allows such intense misery and unbearable agony befall those whom He loves.
I’ve read the Bible, study it regularly, pray daily, go to Church, and try to live as good as I can.
After searching for the why in my terrible downfall, I noticed something. All the things that were given to me as blessings had become my idols.
My college eduction, my career, my apartment. Even my pet Holland Lop, if you can believe it.
Oh yes, I loved my baby bun.
Everything I had been given, I took distinct pride in and credit for. I was so arrogant. I didn’t mind placing myself on a high pedestal. Until I realized what a b*tch the drop was.
It’s almost the one year anniversary of the biggest mistake I never made. Around this time last year, I had a bottle of cheap wine in one hand and a bottle of sleeping pills in the other. My go-to coping cocktail. Why?
Because 2015 was the worst year of my life. I systematically lost everything I valued until there was nothing left for me to cling to.