One of Those Nights

I’m drinking an Amaretto Sour (heavy on Ameretto, light on sour) and watching For Colored Girls.

Tonight is going to be one of those nights.

When my old foe, Depression, attempts to pull me into the dark abyss of self-pity and hopelessness this is the Bible verse I cling to:

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

I’m sharing this for all those with tears, pain, and heartache.

Pray, persist, and prepare for a time when all this will be a forgotten memory.

*Rae

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Broken Hearts in Bible Study

I’ve been going back and forth in my mind. Wondering whether or not to share this post.

The reason is today I experienced something so raw that to share would be to cheapen the event. However, I truly believe vulnerable moments are the most powerful.

So I’ll share with the purest of intents.

I went to Bible Study today and heard someone in our Church had died. I didn’t know the person. Though the event was tragic, it didn’t affect me as deeply as it would if I could put a face to the name.

What broke my heart. What still sends pangs of pain in my soul was the way it affected my Bible Study teacher. She is a devout and faithful woman of God. A sincere soul who I admire with every part of my being.

There she was. The sweet matriarch of our Church and our Bible Study. Always there with a kind word, helpful hand, and open heart to anyone in need.

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Starting Over, But Better

The hardest thing for me to do is nothing. Literally.

This past year, by my definition, wasn’t productive at all. I spent more time doing nothing in those months than I have my entire life.

It was maddening.

But in the silent undisturbed moments, I found Jesus. Like the ghost of Christmas yet to come, He showed me certain truths.

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.  (1 Timothy 6:7-10)

I could clearly see the life I wanted was spiritually unsound. I was bound to crash and burn. And without the Lord, I wouldn’t have been able to pick up the pieces.
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