Stay in Control

So last night I prayed for humility. I knew it was a prayer that needed to be said because I prayed each word with a little bite.

Like my ego was saying, “I don’t need to be more humble. I’m perfect as I am and humility is for p-” and my spirit was like, “Shut the hell up, ego! I’m tryna keep us out of the eternal pit! *Clears throat* As I was saying Lord, help me to tame my arrogant ways.”

And, yes, I recognized the possibility that I may suffer from schizophrenia. But that’s irrelevant.

The point is, I’ve started telling myself, “no.” Yesterday I got home after work, ready to chow down on some lit sushi. But then I realized I wanted it too much. So I decided to fridge the food, shower, and straighten up a bit. Then ate.

Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control. (Proverbs 25:28)

It’s pretty empowering to feel in control of your own behaviors. Spirit leading the body and not the other way around.

Stay in control,

*Rae

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How I Cope

These past two weeks, I’ve been in an episode. For those unfamiliar with the term, an “episode” is when depression-prone individuals fall into a temporary bout of darkness.
I’m finally clawing my way back out. And let me just say, this last episode was something severe. Anyway, the Lord saw me through it. As use.

Now that I’m a bit more clear-headed, I want to share some of the activities that are helping me out of this pit of pity and hopelessness:

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Get Behind Me, Satan!

I want to take a moment and thank all of you who commented on the post Full Disclosure. Each and every one of your words have touched my heart. I had to stop and thank God. That type of unity in Christ’s love is what causes the devil to tremble in fear.

Words have immense power. Words of criticism lead to insecurity. Whereas words of encouragement reinforce our faith.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. (Proverbs 16:24)

When I began this spiritual journey, I thought most opposition would come from non-Christians. Atheists, particularly. That’s not the case. The biggest challenges came from Christians with strict doctrine. Those who say “in love” things like:

  • You have no business speaking Christ’s name.
  • You need to stop doing this and that right now. No wonder you had rough experiences.

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